Vessel of Negativity or Positivity

Vessel of negativity or positivity
We have the right to choose what goes inside of our hearts.

I personally believe that we are all vessels. Inside of us, we carry with us many things including health or sicknesses, peace or confusion, good or bad, benefits or losses and so forth. Whatever is in us travels with us from the shortest distances to the most further distances. We pass whatever it is in us through words, actions, emotions, and thoughts. It is written in the Bible that “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.” I believe this one hundred percent. Whatever is inside of us eventually comes out. I have learned that this is why it is so important to make sure that we are pure vessels; as pure as we can be with all of our might. I’ve learned and am still learning to try to keep my heart pure. Every time someone brings something my way, it is going to either be good or bad. beneficial or harmful. It’s hardly ever neutral. Either someone is going to benefit us or harm us; even if they don’t know which one they are doing at the time.

we have a  right to increase our value.
As a vessel of honor, we can choose things that add to our value instead of things that take away from it.

I choose to be a vessel to honor (referencing the bible) because that is pure. I have learned and choose to have a clean heart. Anything brought to me good, I apply it to myself; especially if it is essential and beneficial. Anything bad brought to me by someone, I do my very best to get rid of it as soon as possible because it is just going to affect me in a bad way and in turn change who I am. I don’t need to change for the worst. I do, however, welcome any change for the better. Besides, negativity just isn’t sexy or attractive. It pushes good things away or hinder them.

The same way poisonous foods harm our bodies and our bodies know when they hit our systems, so does our hearts, minds, and bodies recognize when something toxic is brought to us whether it be a thought, a word, an action, or emotion. I have learned it is just safer to be more alert to these things because they can help me steer my life in the direction I want and need my life to go in. To me, it’s something like protection in the form of mental awareness of social toxicity; because it will come from someone. Think about it: If no one brings any negativity your way, you won’t have any exposure to anything toxic. There will be nothing to repair or heal from.

I don't need any drama. no thank you.
No drama wanted here.

I prefer now to control my surroundings. I have ran across different people here and there and it surprised me to come across some who think one is wrong to refuse drama and confusion; as if it’s not a person’s right to have control over their own lives. They seemed to have a particular mindset where they were convinced that it was okay for them to bring negativity where ever they went, for their family members to bring confusion where ever they went, and that it was okay for this to be done because it was their family members. I do not agree. I believe that if a person wants to be a troublesome person, they should keep that at home. It is not good to have at any time but if a person just has to bring drama or confusion, unhappiness, sadness, grief and all things bad with them, just keep it at home and you and your household be miserable together but respect me and mine and let us remain happy and at peace. We work hard to live in peace. To each his own but everyone should be respected to live as they please and refuse anything that is not beneficial or essential.

I don't like being around angry people.
Anger and confusion is not healthy for anyone nor is it our responsibility to accept them.

Here’s the thing: If we surround ourselves with negativity, it will consume us and drown us and next thing we know, we will be a vessel of confusion, spreading it everywhere that we go even if we don’t purposely do so. When a person gets in the habit of spreading confusion for so long, sometimes, they develop a blind eye to what they are doing and soon can’t be told that they are doing it. Everyone else who sees it will be considered wrong. If there is peace in a place until a certain person shows up and if this happens every time that the person comes around, then there lies the answer. That’s where the problem is coming from. (I speak on this with common sense facts; no judgment.) Sometimes the truth hurts but it’s still the truth. The truth is fair and has no respect to persons. It respects what’s right no matter who is involved.

I like being surrounded by love, joy, happiness, laughter, rationality, faith, goodness, temperance, patience, understanding, fairness, gentleness, and peace. All these things elevate me and keep me in a position to grow as a person. They edify my body, my mind and my soul. They make my heart healthy. They make me beautiful as God created me to be. I will always learn something new everyday but I do not welcome any negativity. It’s too toxic. It only brings confusion, stress, unhappiness, depression, anxiety, hate and everything else bad.

Everyone has a choice as to how they choose to live, who they choose to call their company, and what they welcome into their lives. I rather help people than hurt them and I would rather the same be done to me. I hope everyone is safe out there and I wish you all nothing but positive vibes.

Sometimes You Have to Fight for Your Happiness (No One Has the Right to Steal Your Joy)

I have learned many things with each passing year and most of them, as you probably could guess, was learned through experience. Along with experience are people who are tied to each lesson learned. Experience works with our memory to sometimes put a mark on certain points of our lives that cannot be forgotten because:

  1. Due to how much they helped or hurt us, no one can force us to forget them matter how bad they may want you to
  2. They may have made pivoted our lives in certain directions in order to avoid the same mistakes or trauma that occurred before.

Happiness is a state of mind; a feeling and everyone is entitled to happiness. However, there are some people who may have come into our lives, as bad as it may sound or hard it may be to accept, who only have intentions of stealing our happiness away. Of course, they won’t claim or own up to being such a terrible person but it doesn’t change the fact that people like this do exist. From my experience of running into a few here and there, I found that they are usually people who are not happy themselves. They’re usually people who have skeletons in their closet (secrets from their past) that have helped them become cruel people that they are. Instead of getting counseling or some type of help and closure for the experiences that made them who they are, more than likely, they hated it while at the same time let it become them. In my opinion, this is not good because most of the time, they take their pain that they have harbored, their anger and everything else bad out on the people who care for and are there for them the most. This person is toxic and hard to get rid of or get away from. They force one to have to learn how to live with them until they get someone to help them get away from them or rescue them; or until the lord himself moves the stumbling block out of the way.

I love being happy. I love how the Lord has been gracious enough to me to enable me to adapt in this world and still hold onto my happiness despite those who have tried time and time again to take it away from me. Sometimes, as bad as it sounds, you have to reserve a place in your heart and mind to shelter your happiness for the times when you need them most. You may have to secretly keep them there and let only special (certain) ones in this place who you can trust without a shadow of a doubt and hide it from those who show you in their actions that they mean you no good. Why? Because if they see you happy, they will interrupt it as often as they can (as senseless as it may sound).

We live in a world now where not everyone means you good; where some are on a different level and it forces you to have to become more wise in order to survive. Happiness or some type of joy is required in this day and time to make it. We can be content, true, but happiness or joy can give us that extra boost that we need to carry on and accomplish things that we set out to do. Joy can help us have a peace of mind from time to time as we struggle to make it in this world that we live in now. I read my bible and have other time-passers to take my mind off of the cares of the world that can weigh us down sometimes. Everything good helps. I feel our creator made a way for us to find peace in different things and, when someone hurts us or makes us sad, he brings someone else along to fill the void and make up for and heal the wound that was caused.

So, for everyone and anyone out there who may be going through something or catching a hard time from someone, remember, you have a right to hold onto your joy. Don’t let anyone steal your joy no matter how hard they may try. It keeps your heart pure and makes you more powerful. Hold onto your power. God gave it to you and what God gave you is for you and no one else; it is yours to keep. Things are hard now because there are so many things going on, I know, but there is peace to come in the end.

Smile, laugh, and give your heart rest with happiness and joy. Hold them close to you. They belong to you.

The One Thing that Everyone in the World Has In Common Right Now

One word. COVID-19. Either their country has some infections, has deaths increasing because of it, or they’re trying to avoid it. Either way, it has become a staple in this day and time. It affects everything and no one likes to talk about it. I don’t blame them but at the same time, we have to remain open to awareness in coping in order to survive. We still do not know the half about how it is going to affect us in the end.

Some Things that Everyone Does Not Have in Common Right Now

  • Unity
  • Humility
  • Open Minds
  • A State of Being Calm and Rational
  • Kindness
  • Consideration
  • Assurance
  • Financial Stability
  • Enough food and home supplies to last till it is over
  • Peace of Mind
  • Safety
  • School Supplies to home school our children at home or attend school through distance learning
  • Enough laughter and happiness

Those are just a few to name. Honestly, I believe the news is helping us all stress more than we may need to because there is still hardly any good news of any kind being presented. People are waiting on stimulus checks but our leaders can’t get along long enough to agree on simply making them official and printing them. Other than that, there is so much violence and selfishness going on right now in our country alone and maybe in the entire world; DURING THIS PANDEMIC as if we have nothing else to do with our time and everything is just fine. The news is projecting all of the bad things onto us and our screens and it is starting to oppress people who are financially struggling to make ends meet right now. It is seriously stressing people who already had health issues before this virus developed. It is not good for anyone who is already sick to have added stress. It was already hard enough before the pandemic because we have always been trying to make it.

The list provided is kind of big but guess what? COVID is bigger. My opinion is that if we could work together to attain at least half of those things on that list, starting with unity, we may be able to make more stride pertaining to what we are all facing right now.

To help ease my mind and remain optimistic, I read, listen to music, learn more recipes, garden, clean, … list is endless but I have to admit, different channels that people have on YouTube really do help out a lot. I am finding couples who prank each other, put up their family time with their children, entertainers and etc really do help out. Sometimes, laughter really is medicine. Kevin Hart, and many more really do help me immediately forget that I was about to stress over what’s being shown on the news all of the time. It is amazing to be able to still find humor in a time like this to help force our minds to not focus on all of the negativity and sadness going on right now.

Either way, maybe it would help if we had more unity, cared a little more about our fellow man even if they aren’t in our immediate family, and simply just show a little more consideration for what others may be going through at this time right? (Just a thought.) Everyone is being affected in different ways right now. Some worse than others. Maybe, just maybe we need to approach what’s going on right now with a more open and clear mind; free from stress (with the best of our ability.) Personally, I am better at making decisions when I have a clear mind as opposed to when I am under any type of stress.

Thank God for Granny and Papa

They have a certain “learned wisdom” about them that you just can’t find anywhere else in the world.
They know exactly how, when, and what to say just when you need to hear it the most.
Sometimes what they have to say is bitter-tasting but it’s still medicine for the heart.
when no one cares or wants to take time out of their day to listen and be there, they will.

They know how hard it is to be a parent, a woman, or a man.
They have learned through their experiences how to let a lot of things go that we normally would have a fit over.

They know that you haven’t been the most perfect person in the world but they are still there for you without judgment and with an open heart.

When they give you a hug, it feels like they instantly healed your heart, mind and body of all the pain that was given to you by someone else and you remember that hug forever.

Granny and Papa have been through years of issues that couples face and they know how to help you get through yours and not break up your home at the same time.
They know what it is like to have people that you thought were your friends turn their backs on you during the time that you need them the most.
But they still encourage you to be the bigger person, a better version of yourself and treat them with all of the kindness in the world.
They love your children no matter how terrible some may be as if they’re angels with no respect to persons.
They know how to get your husband or wife to understand what you yourself were trying to express to them with a simple sentence.

They give us the encouragement that we need to hold onto the faith, keep doing what’s right because it is never easy being an adult or parent.

They give us strength and pass on wisdom to us to continue to be good parents to our children even when our children just don’t know how good they have it; when they don’t see how other children would give everything to be fussed at, taught or even hugged by their mother and father just one more time.

They have a way of getting our children to do things that they normally would whine and cry about doing like “helping mom and dad do this or that.”

They accept the lessons that they have learned with time, experience and the Grace of God; they are thankful for every time that they wake up to see another day; they know it’s another day to do something great with their time and to pass on more wisdom.

I do not know what we would do without you, Granny and Papa, you are the pillars of our families and so much more.
I thank God for you Granny and Papa; I may not have always expressed it as much as I should, but I really do from the bottom of my heart;

You may not get the recognition that you deserve at all times but I salute you, I love you and I thank God for you; all grandparents because you are our examples of perseverance, wisdom, strength, and love.
You influence generations and help those who value what you have to offer to pass on all of what you have learned and be able to survive the times to come; You are a gift.

Thank God for Granny and Papa.

A Woman’s Worth

a woman's worth

I was told by my elders of how things are hard once you have children and even more if you are a single parent but I didn’t know about it fully. Unfortunately, there are some things you just don’t get the full knowledge of until you have to go through them. They told me how as the children get older, it would be harder to tell them right from wrong and teach them because of the phase they go through thinking that “they know everything” but have no clue. Now I understand.

The job of being a woman is hard work. I’m not saying it negatively, but being honest. We have so much that we take from our jobs, from our families and from the outside world and we still are expected to put on a smile as if nothing is wrong. On top of that, when we cry or show any kind of disapproval for being unappreciated (most of the time) it is as if we are the ones doing wrong by doing so; by speaking up and expressing ourselves.

Our children expect us to be their doctors, their friends, their ATMS, their support, their counselors, their maids, and silent at the same time. Sometimes our men expect us to do the same and more which includes being their backbone, ever-forgiving, faithfully long-suffering, patient, kind, humble (even when we are disrespected), ever-praising, hard working, well educated and classy at all times and more. But hardly does anyone want to hear us complain when we do all these things and more and just need to be appreciated for all that we do.

moms mothers work celebrate

We get one day a year to be celebrated and even then, some mothers and wives don’t even get the appreciation that she deserves. God gave us the ability to give birth, to be nurturing, to complete a man, to be multi-talented and keep loving everyone when everyone has stopped loving us. We are important and valuable. We just don’t get the credit we deserve for it a lot of the time.

I heard someone state how they feel that a woman has a bigger threshold for pain than a man has. I don’t agree. We hurt too. We have feelings too. We just don’t get a choice to choose all the time with what we go through. We don’t get the respect that we deserve when we cry out and say “Enough is enough.” A lot of women end up having to be mommy and daddy. “Mama’s baby, daddy’s maybe.” But think about it: If women were that useless and unimportant, I don’t believe that the Lord would’ve created us. We are the help meet but we are also a gift. Every gift from above should be appreciated. If there were no women, there wouldn’t be generations born into the world. There would be no comforting of a mother, grandmother or aunt; there would be no “mother’s love”, no woman supporting the man and helping him to be the best man he can be. It would just be one lonely man and this was not meant to be so. In turn, God made us. He made woman.

God made family

I’m not a feminist. I believe in a man and woman working together to reach their highest potential but I also believe that both of them should be appreciated for what they bring to the table; for all that they do. It’s not a one man or woman show. Everybody needs somebody sometimes. It is a job being a woman in this day and time as well as being a man. Sometimes all we ask for in return for all that we do is love and appreciation. It can go a long way and in return, we will be able to continue to support and encourage one another when the world is on our shoulders. It will help us to have the strength to teach and bring up our children in the way that they should go while giving them the love that they need also. I pray that a woman’s worth worth is seen in each of our communities all around the world before it is too late.

Sometimes my topics are lighthearted and sometimes they are real issues but being a mother or a woman will always be the common denominator along with the lessons that I am learning from day to day. Never intended to offend anyone but to hopefully open the closed heart and eye; hopefully helping someone who may be going through some of the things that I speak on; so that they may know more than likely, they are not alone in whatever it is that they may be going through. It might not be my situation but nine times out of ten, someone is going through it too. Sometimes it just helps us to know that we are not alone.

The Dangers of An Idle Mind and Failure to Adjust During the Pandemic

I, as most of us, have been making some adjustments to my life during this time of the pandemic. In order to survive any time or decade, especially in the current time that we live in, one has to.

Denial of how much things have changed for us all due to COVID-19 can essentially cause more harm than help because it can basically handicap us mentally from being survivors. Right now, it is about survival. Not like it has always been in a general sense but more intensely now. We don’t just have to worry about surviving financially and physically. We now have to survive mentally more than anything. Understandably, we may not like some of the changes but we have to adjust and quickly learn each day how to carry on, how to enable our families to carry on and not get caught up in growing mental struggle that comes along with living during the age of COVID 19 in order not to fall through the cracks. It is overwhelming because, as many of us know, this is similar to but not exactly identical to the Spanish Flu that plagued the world before now. This is not like the regular flu. We know how to get over the flu over a reasonable number of days. This is a whole other beast.

We still, after seven or eight months, know little about it and are doing our best to survive it with that which we do know. We have a divide between us as a people when it comes to belief of just how serious it is. We all are affected by it as a whole but those who have contracted it have first hand knowledge of just how seriously it needs to be taken and it affects different people in different ways. However, the one symptom that it has in common for everyone is the mental depression and stress that it causes. I believe that the mind is in many the CPU of our bodies. It is the central station. Once that breaks down, the body usually follows.

So what does that tell us? Well, for one, it definitely tells us that we have to do our best to get ahead of it by building our minds to be stronger. Not just in cases where some have contracted it but also for those of us who are living in a world where it is everywhere. As much of some of us may want to return to a Pre-COVID way of life, the truth is (and this is not to be negative but to be truthful and realistic) we may never go back to the life we viewed as normal again. We have lost so much. Now we are trying to hold onto what we have left. Maybe we will benefit from remaining positive minded and being open to the change that is basically being forced on us. Happiness is definitely in our minds. I believe we just have to be tenacious in finding a way to project that happiness in every aspect of our daily lives now. Don’t give up. We were given gold by God when he gave us the ability to have a strong mind. Let’s protect our happiness and loved ones by protecting our mindsets; we can block all negativity and anything that will not help it flourish and we can do it better together. Two heads have always been better than one. What if negativity and division are two of the biggest setbacks that we are facing right now?

I believe that the answer to how to overcome this pandemic that we are living in is really staring us in the face but we just haven’t truly opened our eyes to see it yet. It may not be what most of us thought it was. It may be abstract. I do know for a fact that we have to get through this in order to get past it. I do know that God always provides a remedy. Meanwhile, we may have to accept being open to adjustment during the time that we are living in so that we can live to fight another day. Maybe focusing on that can help us hold on until we get to happier days past this pandemic that we never imagined would exist.

Some of my elders used to say “An idle mind is the devil’s playground.” I believe that they were right. I have been feeling and doing better every since I came into remembrance of this and have used every minute of my time staying busy and just being naturally productive and positive minded. Things that I didn’t have time for before, I have time for now and I don’t get mad about it because I am blessed to live to see another day. Period. Instead I use it as wisely as I know how and I teach my children to do the same. Sometimes it takes time to get through things and holding out till the end and never giving up pays off in the end. Meanwhile, I also try to make sure to not let any negativity dwell in my mind or family circle. There is enough division in the world already as it. I figure the best place to start with what I am saying right now is my own home; in my own family and that is what we are doing. I have to say it feels good. If any of us get bored, there is still plenty to do. Things that are productive.

Together We Stand, Divided We Fall

Together We Stand

It is just on my heart to say that I’m seeing so much violence going on in this world today in the middle of a pandemic, in the middle of uncertain times, in a time where there is so much confusion and misunderstanding, and in a time when people are too stubborn or misguided to understand that together we stand, divided we fall.

Things aren’t going to get better with added confusion. Everyone has an opinion but the truth is eternal. The truth will be here when mankind becomes extinct. It makes my heart so sad to see this and try to find a way to teach my children to stand strong, don’t give up, stay positive and love everyone when there is so much hate being penetrated throughout every race and community. I wish they had more examples on tv and out in the world of love being spread; of communication and compromise being used more. Sometimes you never know how good a situation can end until you put your pride aside and just use respect, the truth, and love to solve the issue. Lives can be spared and saved.

together we stand

Our children need more hope. They need more good news. They have seen and heard enough bad news to last them a life time. I don’t know what happened but it’s as if the majority of us have forgotten the importance of peace, kindness, love, and order. I have a previous blog stating how “Rules are for a Reason” and this is so true. I understand that not everyone likes rules but God set them in place long before he gave us the gift of our lives; before he breathed breath into our bodies and granted us the gift of life. It’s not a bad thing. Without any morals, without limitations, without boundaries and standards, without knowledge and understanding, and without counselling, the people perish; Sometimes with their eyes wide shut.

our children love

We have one life to live on this earth and right now, we are fighting, literally for our lives already during Covid-19 and other mutations of this virus as well as what was already here including other sickness, STD, and now, more plagues that are developing and spreading as we speak. Now imagine trying to survive in an economic depression on the rise, natural disasters, and violence within our own communities. Anyone with families, with children, with elders that they are trying to help protect can be made to feel like they are overwhelmed tremendously; having no time to even sit for a decent hour or so a day to gather their thoughts and enjoy their day. Just running, hustling and working, having to be on their guard twenty-four seven, barely eating and sleeping as as they should, and worried about things happening to their loved ones when they go out into the world to do simple things like make groceries, go for a jog, go run errands, go to school and etc. It’s no way to live.

I’m simply saying with all the love in my heart that I pray we all come together for peace sake and remember we are stronger together than we are apart. Evil, confusion, anger, and division reproduces more evil, confusion, anger and division. Our children don’t have the memories we had of peacefully playing outside not worrying about anything happening to them. We didn’t grow up with all the technology and entertainment that they have but we were happy because we had peace and love. We had the love of family. We believed in God. They don’t know what it is like to leave home and not worry about locking their doors. I pray for peace. I pray for happiness for us all. I pray for no more sadness. I pray for those who are hurting and for their hearts to be healed. I pray for our children. I pray for more togetherness.


Kindness Can Spread and Help Us Heal

be kind please

Loving our neighbors as ourselves of the commandments given to us from above. I did not know that it had as much meaning as it does until I was faced with different situations that called for it to be put in practice on different levels. I had to learn how to love my enemies by treating them as if they did nothing wrong to me. I had to learn to kill those who mistreated me with kindness. It goes without saying that this does not involve any physical harm. It just means that sometimes the only way people who cause you pain will feel any pain is when you do the opposite of what they push or expect you to do. If and when they disrespect you for example, still answer without anger. Most reactions that occur through anger usually yield years of pain and regret. Muster all of your strength up and remain classy and intelligent. Don’t reciprocate with the hostility that they themselves so easily and often give you. Our reactions to these types of instances can be short and sweet because two wrongs don’t make a right. If that person still does not care about how they make you feel, then I was taught that the best thing you can do for them is to distance yourself from them.

I learned this throughout the years as I got older. I felt bad after I did retaliate. The person that I was taught to be didn’t like how it made the other person feel; no matter what they had done to me or how much pain they caused me. I feel better by just doing what I know is right and putting the rest in God’s hands. He can handle anything that I can’t far better. He knows the outcome of everyone’s actions. He knows the solution. It was just a matter of learning how to get better at doing that and afterwards, walking away without thinking about the situation again. In my opinion, it takes a lot of strength not to give it right back as hard as the person who gave it to you. Sometimes when a person makes you angry, they really push too hard. But I was taught that if I can still maintain in the midst of that kind of pressure, I can become an even better person. I become stronger. have a heart. be nice to one another please

I get joy out of helping people, making them smile, hearing them talk about how they appreciate what I did more than that feeling I hear people talk about when they “let a person have it.” I like being happy. I like seeing others happy. Things can go too far when someone gets hurt. Retaliation usually ends really bad with no solution. Because I know that I don’t know “everything” and God does, I feel it’s the wiser decision to once again, give it to him and let him handle it. Meanwhile, I choose to keep doing what I know and was taught by my loved ones to be right. Spread happiness and love. Treat people the way I want to be treated. Sow good seeds and reap good things. I like being “that” person. My heart feels happy and clean being that person. My skin looks and feels better being “that” person.

We have one life to live. Live your best life.

I know that some people enjoy inflicting pain on others but that’s just not me. So, if I were to encourage anyone to do anything, it would be to be the bigger person. Be the stronger person and keep your heart clean. You may not get the credit you deserve for being a good person instantly but it will come. Don’t let the world change you. Change the world one person at a time by treating being kind. The admiration may not come out loud or instantly but they will remember you for it and your life will be so much better and stress-free; trust me. It’s not a requirement for us to be around anyone toxic or harmful. It’s not our responsibility to have people in our lives that bring out the worst in us. If someone wants to be miserable, let them be miserable by themselves. That toxicity will only drag you down. Then, there will be two people miserable to no end instead of just one. times are changing . Life is hard enough as it is. We have one life to live and I encourage everyone out there with all the love in my heart to make the best of it as you can. Be happy as much as much as you can. Be kind as much as you can and it will come back to you ten-fold. You deserve it. We deserve it.

With Love,


Actions Merit Consequences (Relationships)

So here is the deal: I was talking with a friend about relationships and what we have been through in some past experiences and the topic of fairness in relationship came up. We concluded that in this day and time, it is almost non-existent. Sure, of course there is still a low percentage of decent, even loving, relationships out there but majority fail because there is no compromise, there is no understanding, communication, real love, and etc. Most relationships now are like a one way street. If you get in it and things go south, there is no second lane, just one lane going straight and if it doesn’t work out, all you can do is keep straight ahead. Literally get through it to get out of it. No talking things over or being one hundred percent considerate of one another’s feelings and wishes equally. Nine times out of ten, one of the parties in the relationship is going to want everything to go their way; he or she may even be a narcissist (in which case it’s hopeless to expect any reasonable outcome).

Anyway, we were discussing how women are now speaking out on how they still feel like they are being taken for granted and even advantage of; how it is still easy for the man in the relationship to just leave everything on the table and simply walk away with no regrets or concerns even if there are children in the equation. Please be informed, this post is not to bash men at all but this was just some point of views and experiences that some women are expressing.

I never claim to be an expert or know everything but I do know a thing or two about experiences that I have been through and learned from. In my opinion, it should be fair on both ends. Both the man and woman should be made to be and stay happy in the relationship; otherwise, what’s the point of getting into one in the first place right? I mean, who gets with a man or woman in a committed relationship just to be ignored, mistreated and miserable? No one. That’s crazy. I feel that both the man and woman have to have it made up in their minds that “this is the person that I am going to see things through with.” Both have to be willing to compromise and love each other for who they are; flaws and all.

If one should decide to start degrading the other, cheating, being untrustworthy, lying, or doing anything else that would basically ruin the relationship, they should expect the worst consequences possible. They should expect the same thing to happen to them. It’s just the way it is. But when they do get that karma back, what’s the point of getting mad and trying to find a way to justify the wrong doing? How much sense does it make for a man or woman to push the other away, for example, and not expect to get the same thing in return? That is NOT how to maintain a healthy loving relationship with anyone. It takes two. Period. A relationship has to have more than one person to qualify as just that. Both have to put in work every day. They both have to be willing to change (if need be, small or great) for the person that they say that they love. Otherwise, stay single and you don’t have to change, respect your partner, be faithful and etc. The only person that you will have to please is yourself. However, getting in a relationship just to be controlling, selfish, or keep confusion alive instead of maintaining love and peace just defeats the purpose. It would be more respectful to just not tie the other person down if you know you aren’t really going to be what the relationship is calling for. Just let someone else get them and treat them right. Counselling usually is also a good choice for relationship issues. Some people that I know have too much pride to admit their faults in front of someone else and are just too stubborn to seek counselling even if it would be able to save their relationship. To each his own. Relationships in a nutshell are complicated depending on who it is that one is in the relationship with. It can be simple if two people get together initially with an open mind and real love for one another.

I hope everyone is staying safe out there and staying free from stress as much as possible.


Encouragement for 2020

Hi. I know things are getting harder day by day and in most cases, by the hour also. If you’re living on your own independently, I feel you may have more bills staring you in the face than I did when I was in my twenties and thirties but don’t let it get you down or cause you to give up. There’s hope. As long as you have determination to make it, to be someone great, you will. When I first got out on my own, all I had to really worry about as far as bills go were electric, rent, gas for my ride, cable, phone and groceries. Now, you have rent, lights, mortgage, car insurance, house insurance, life insurance, business insurance, gas or transportation, phone, garbage bills, land taxes, internet, more different types of subscriptions than I could’ve ever imagined would be created, groceries, the water bill, clothing, supplies for the pets of the house, school supplies (way more than we had), and many more. It can be overwhelming. I mean, look at that list! What’s left after that right?

Still, I say keep your head up. As long as there is a will, there is a way. Now we are just living in a time that we have to choose between the bills that we have to have, the bills that we may be able to afford, and the bills that we can do without so that we can be able to have the rest of what we need. It is expensive to live now but I see many, including myself, making the best of their situations by gardening, recycling, exercising better management of their finances as well as their time. DIY projects are definitely coming in handy as well in order to save more money. There are many things that you can do on a positive note in order to keep your head above the water and stress less while doing so. You have a lot going for you; mainly, your youth. Do all that you can to be productive and successful while you are in the prime time of your life. It will pay off when you have to slow down a little bit. Trust me. Even if you aren’t as young, as long as you have breath in your body, you can be whatever you want to be at any age and you can be successful. It really is “a mindset”.

If anyone, not just those younger than myself, lacks encouragement from their environment or current surroundings, I am here to tell you that you can succeed at anything that you put your mind to do. Don’t let anyone tell you different. Just please make sure that whatever you choose to do is good. That way, you will reap nothing but good and success. I have learned as I get older that humility really does go a long way and determination will help get you to the point you need to be at in your life. If I were to listen to everyone who tried to discourage me, I wouldn’t have a thing to show for it except regret. A good reputation will last longer than any amount of money. When you gain a person’s trust because you have integrity, you will always come out on top because you will always have a means by which to live and survive. Just don’t do anything to break that trust and you will be just fine.

This generation has a certain boldness. You’re intelligent. You’re brave. You speak your minds. You stand firm to what you believe. You are achievers. The sky is the limit for you. You are a great generation. You just need to be told that more often. We all have made mistakes but we don’t have to let our mistakes determine our future. Our mistakes are not who we are. They are learning blocks that help us become better. I believe in you. Keep believing in yourself.

With Love,