Everyone Needs Someone
We live in a time now when, for most people, it helps to have someone to talk to. With the social distancing and COVID restrictions that are in place right now, I can definitely see where human interaction can be a comfort. It’s what we are accustomed to since the beginning of time so of course. Even if it is just one person that we trust the most, just about everyone of us have that comfort zone. Not everyone is afforded this but most are.
We have circles and levels of circles around us or in our lives that we maintain and choose how we maneuver throughout. Associates (people that we know but don’t call our close friends), friends, colleagues, close friends, best friends, and family. But within these circles, most of the time, there is always someone or people whom we really give too too much of ourselves to. Sometimes within our closest circles, there is someone who does not wish us well. Most of the time, you’ll notice them sitting quietly in the background just watching your every move; kind of keeping up with you and your progress if you will. There are other times when they are right there cheering you on as you meet certain goals and accomplishments in life……right up until you start doing too good for their liking. Next thing you know, a hidden type of jealousy starts in creep in or becomes more apparent. Their smile turns into a displeased half smile when you are mentioned or when you get certain recognition. At first it may puzzle you because this is someone that you thought meant you well and is/was your friend. Then it becomes more frequent and negative comments start to emerge. You start to wonder “Is this person for me or against me? “ and things like “Is this really my friend?”
Soon, our questions get answered when they become highly agitated at the fact that they’re tired of seeing you do so well. At this point, they can’t hide it anymore and the competitive remarks (for no reason) begin. You want to ignore it and keep the faith and believe that this is your friend but it becomes undeniable that they are not. Then you start distancing yourself. But by this time, they’ve collected so much information from you till they may be already imitating things that you do (claiming it was all their doing) or straight up competing with you every time you do certain things that get you more attention. In your mind, you’re achieving your goals. In their minds, this is another competition and they are beginning to not be able to stand you. Sad, I know, but trust me, this is another life lessons that I had to learn the hard way at times.
Crabs In A Bucket
Sometimes, it will be someone who deemed themselves your best friend, your lover, your partner, your family, and etc. Either way, it is usually someone who has broken your barriers and gotten close to you. What’s the point? Sometimes, we find ourselves believing that everyone is good or certain people are good and would never backstab or hurt us. Unfortunately, not everyone means us good. As adults, we sometimes have to learn this in this manner which is deeper than when we tell our children “not everyone that smiles in your face is your friend.” Adults are more shrewd at times. Sometimes we can simply trust the wrong person. Sometimes the person who says “I got you.”, “I prove I love you.”, “we are best friends.”, “we are family”, and things like that are the main ones who will be plotting to stop your success and bring you down. There are some people in this world sad to say who find it more pleasing to keep you miserable and down; like crabs in a bucket. When they see you about to come up or do better, they will reach up and grab you by the leg and bring you right back down. They will keep doing it until they feel that you’ve given up and don’t want anything more out of life and have settled unhappily right along with them. Sometimes you have to be tenacious and break free past those people and cut them off. If they don’t go away, simply don’t give them anymore of your attention, time, information and etc. Then people will begin to see that it was you that they were mimicking. They will have to find someone else to bring down; to leech off of. Soon, they will let you know how they never really liked you in the first place or how they hated seeing you come up.
A Real Friend Loves To See You Do Well
When someone doesn’t have anymore conversation for you besides wanting to know what you have going on, what did you accomplish, trying to control who your associates, friends and etc. are, they imitate everything that you do and claim that it was all on their own, they’re not your real friend and they do not mean you well. When someone likes to hear how bad you are doing but don’t contribute to your well being (even if they falsely claim to do so), they do not mean you well. It’s easy to say one thing and do another but anyone who really means you well and are really there for you will have actions to match their words and they will be consistent. They will be willing to be there for you as a true friend or loved one, they will add to you and not take away from you, they will encourage your growth, and they will want to see you do better and there will be no jealousy. Trust me, if the shoe were on the other foot and they had to be the victim of their own deceit and wrongful doing, it would be obviously clear to them that they need to ditch you.
Sometimes we can tell even the slightest simple parts of our business or plans to the wrong person. Don’t give anyone who isn’t worth your time any of your value. Seriously, they aren’t worth it. It’s a waste of time that we can never get back. There may be someone else out there who deserves your friendship and trust more than them. Sometimes, people put themselves in your lives to block the people who should be there. Yes, they will lie, cheat and do whatever else they have to do to make sure that you don’t make that connection with the people who should be there. It’s sad but as I have said before, some people are wired bad. It is highly unlikely that person will change if they aren’t confronted or shamed by more than yourself. Best just to move on or emotionally move on. They will notice that they don’t affect you anymore and in time, they’ll fade away because there will be nothing else for them to leech off of.
Ditch The Loser Mentally
Remember that old saying? “Keeps your friends close and your enemies closer” ? That may be what that type of person is doing when this happens but if so, I believe They’re using this phrase wrongfully. It’s exhausting keeping your enemies closer because you’ll have to hide your happiness, your achievements, your real friends and etc. It’s not a comfortable life. I guess I’m getting older now and I don’t have that type of energy to keep a hater or stumbling block in my life when I don’t even need them. If a person works that hard to stay around me and keep me down at the same time (as if it were their God-given purpose in life), then I must be of more value as a person than they are willing to admit or want others to believe. Now, I just ditch them and mentally and emotionally detach myself from them. Literally all they get for the most part is “ohhhhh”, “ok”, “yes”, “no”, “oh I hate to hear that” and things of that nature. That is all they deserve. I’m learning lol. Oh have that times changed.
Another life lesson, another day lol.
Please be kind, stay safe, and stay alive