It usually happens when the mass of the people cannot see it. An abuser never actually wants others to see just how angry, controlling, and abusive that they are. Their concern is not what they do to hurt someone. It’s getting caught doing it; being shown up for it. When the curtains fall down and they cannot trick others into believing that they are nice and good, it is like having their underwear pulled down in front of the world. You would think they would care more about the crime that they do spiritually, physically, and mentally against another person but not true. They only care about how big and great they appear before others. They will deny it to the victim but know not to act like that in public or around certain ones. This means they know that they are doing wrong and just don’t care.
I have heard some people call it narcissism as well as other terms but truth is, we are living in the last days where all kinds of evil are coming to the light and there is so much of it till love is barely dwindling and a lot of people don’t care about what they do wrong to others and it is usually done to people who show them love and by people who know better. It is backwards, yes, but that’s the way it is happening. It is as if they themselves are a ticking time bomb, a walking and breathing disease or parasite attaching themselves to someone who could thrive and do well and constantly sucking the life, hope, and happiness out of them. Everyone’s experience with an abuser is different but they all will have a number of things in common which is how it is easily known what kind of person they are dealing with. The worst part is being in a relationship with someone who is mentally effed up in the head but is so malicious till they hide it until they trap you so to speak. And, later on, you find out how they were messed up as a child through some horrific experience and instead of them getting help for it, they became their abuser or worse. I don’t hate them. I pray for them and hate what happened to them ever happened. Lord knows.
As a woman who suffered from abuse before, I can tell you that it was HELL! It was hard holding it on the inside in public what this person was doing to me behind closed doors; watching them smile in my family and friends and others faces hiding who they really are and not saying a word about it; not reaching out for help because he had threatened my life if I ever did. He wanted to program me to believe his lies about how I was safer going through the mistreatment from him than it would be with another man. He complained about everything and nothing was ever enough. He had the temper of a beast and it became harder and harder for him to hide as time passed. He became very comfortable. He could never be told what he did wrong and crying out to him to stop was a waste of time, energy, and breath. Soon I realized the only way he would take me serious was to either put him on blast or leave. I chose to leave. Either way, he was HOT! Smh, this is truly not normal.
He would get very angry when anything mentioned of how he was too controlling, verbally and mentally abusive, and etc. He …was my worst nightmare. If you are out there reading this and you are suffering from abuse in a relationship, I would like to share this piece of information with you: GET OUT QUIETLY WHILE YOU CAN! It is hard to convince a grown man/woman that they are hurting you when they already know and don’t care about anything except getting caught and they will never just let you go or walk away in this day and time. It used to be so that you could just leave and part ways at least amicably but not so now. Now, they rather see you dead than happy or with another person. I can’t answer all of as to why but I know from experience, that person will never change. The pretending act can only last so long because every minute they are pretending with you, it is eating them up and making them more uncomfortable. Some say it is even narcissistic and they could be right. Either way, even Martin Luther King stated how a person’s oppressor will never just give a person freedom.” If they wanted you happy or really cared, they wouldn’t spend years and time messing up your life and hurting you. So, do the math and run like Forest fast as you can if you are with someone who makes you miserable and is abusing you. It will not get any better.
I apologize for a serious post today but at the same time, I see it going on so much and sometimes it is good to speak out because you never know who else is going through something you’ve overcome. When I was going through it, if it hadn’t been for someone who cared and saw my pain, I would’ve never made it out of it. It is never easy but neither is going through any type of abuse or pain. If I blogged about all of the hard experiences that I have had, it would shock the world I am sure and it would be enough to fill up a book. But I choose to mostly speak on happy things. I had to focus on being a greater person. Building myself up where they had torn me down so that I could get out of that situation. I’m not trying to make anyone sad by talking about something so serious but there are a lot of bad things being done to people everyday and it is multiplying like flies while people are doing less and less everyday to help and support as well as uplift one another. Everyone deserves to be happy or at least that is my belief.
BE kind, stay safe, and stay alive.
GG
Mom Life Lessons w/GG 